An Interest, a timely concept, only God knows. Something that will vanish into thin air, someday…
I use to know a lot of things or I use to love a lot of things. Just because that was what it was.
Time? I didn’t know what time was.
I looked into the faces of people and there it was. The whole world.
I might not have liked who I was, but people did. Probably a thing of the time and the hopes that were still higher than facts. Whatever that means in our world.
If I ever were competitive, I was because you were and it was fun. I understand how it can not be, but time wasn’t my thing.
Not until the side effects were a scream and not a whisper. Until I would know what it meant. From faces load and many. And they kept on screaming at me? A new thing? It made me kind of fall asleep. What’s the point?
I have lost probably as many times as I have won at anything. Important to me that would be. I didn’t care or mind, but I was sensitive to it. Great no one saw it.
Now it was different. I had to care for my losses. If I were on a stage this would be crowds of people, for who knows what reason? But they stated me nevertheless as a loser. An all-time loser?
I had never heard of that. It was my new interest now. How do I recover from that?
I guessed I would just have to know time. Not really my interest. But any interest is time, so… Eventually, that too is about people. But you see it was the people I found no interest in. There is something wrong with them.
I can’t help them but if I had new lifetimes for every one of them. That’s what they wanted. New everything, from their way of thinking about it.
Now I was part of their thoughts and they called it free. Like it had any value whatsoever. Their free thoughts. I definitely thought they should have kept it to themselves.
Oh, but I don’t know the time. You can not go through time all unknowing. But in the end, it’s what they wanted.
Nothing else is working better either. Well of course it depends if you know as well.
I really tried to be a graceful loser, which would mean to pretend that I am.
Then I could say I decided to give it up, but I just gave it up and became a carpet on the floor.
A learned a lot about time. All kinds of people. I didn’t know people like that existed. I wanted to just be the carpet now. To know them better.
It wasn’t at all fun. Are you people crazy or something? And since I was the carpet, eager to know. I was. I was crazy from wanting to know.
I came to know the time and what I got was nothing like what I had seen before (but in our senses, I believe everything exists- we know this world without having to know it).
I was insane and out of this world now.
What do you get for that? A new carpet maybe.
I could have just lied there until I got rugged and ready to die.
Hopefully, I got up or something in me was the hope that I was not.
I decided I don’t want to be you anymore. It makes no sense if it doesn’t mean it can be helpful for anyone.
In a way, it can be. It thought me something I otherwise would not have known.
If the world breaks my heart- why should I hide? Why do you hide? I guess it is probably because you know where it will lead you and it is really no place to be.
You can take it from me or everyone else or you can just try and be a carpet yourself.
The point is that you don’t need to. And the world can be a stupid place that way. I say that to get to the point of heartbreak.
If I were a suicide I would die because of that stupid time. I think suicide is a way of dying before you die. Time is too hard and you already know it was.
People who are killed in other ways are kind of open to it (maybe to serve a purpose through someone else?), because they just had their hearts broken by time, prior to their death. Right now.
Why I say time is stupid is because people sometimes never stop and keep breaking hearts already opened. To love. Time has that incredible stupid blind spot. But that is also time. It just is until it is not.
Why? Because the purpose on earth is for the heart to become broken in order to be open. To what the world needs.
We don’t need a heartbreak for a heartbreak. That is just suicide and war. Time.
So more on us then and time. Until we can get our hearts broken and learn to get on with it. To know there is another world and in it is who we are. And who we are is here to love.
A purpose is a vehicle into the heart of being who we are. I guess it means to find a purpose. To do what in our hearts can connect us to the times we live in. Meanwhile, we already are.
Hitler didn’t get what he wanted (access through the part of himself), because he didn’t love. He hated what was done to him and as a psychopath, he acted upon that.
To love leads to being grateful. It starts there. Over and over again, in order, we forget who we are and why we are here.
To love is to have access to both the world we can see and the world we can not see.
Whatever level of hate Hitler was on, it was a horrible one and we were on it too. As time.
Imagine you are Vincent Van Gogh and you see what he sees, but you know what he didn’t at the time.
Even though his friends and family could not have convinced him of his worth. Because what would they know that he didn’t. As time.
Even so, he was loved and he loved. Though he didn’t in a moment of too much time. It was a hard life.
How could he have known- who we are it comes only to be worth it.
A hard life, but this was suicide. It was time and not love.
You have to know more than you know and you don’t find it as time. But to access who you are in action.
Forget about not being good enough and not being loved, we all die. But we don’t have to live like all times death. We can keep it to ourselves and not kill.
Because we are the time, it matters who we are. Being good enough from that is good enough for the time and better than any time has ever been.
Greatness comes from action from love and love is everything. Whatever it is. For Van Gogh, it was painting. He saw the world through that lens. But what could it be if no one else saw it? Saw beyond time and to be there in presence for love…
He didn’t know it would come to have value for you and for me. Who are we?
But who was he?